Knowing Me

Coffee

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Coffee. It’s a bitter mug of absolute happiness. Two teaspoons of brown sugar, two heaped (sometimes three) teaspoons of coffee and just enough cold milk to make it look caramely. The way I hold the cup depends on what time of the day it is, where I’m sitting while indulging, what I’m doing and who I’m with. I have endless conversations with myself while experiencing these euphoric moments. My imagination goes wild and I find myself in cities I’ve never been to talking to people I’ve never seen. Then I find myself wanting to cross over a border that is too thin to realise but too thick to not know that you’ve gone over it.

I can’t help but think that when God created us, He wanted all the best for us. I think He wants us to prosper in everything that we do and to live comfortably, with no need whatsoever. However, I don’t think He created us to be comfortable.

Comfortable:  Producing feelings of ease or security; free from anxiety or stress; at ease

Don’t get me wrong, God wants us to find security in Him, worrying about nothing but trusting that if He can provide for the birds of the air, He can provide for you and me. That’s not what I’m referring to. The type of comfortability I’m talking about is the one that can very well be a deadly disease to a Christian. Someone once said that taking up a cross and dying to self are not “comfortable” actions. Sometimes, we as Christians think that accepting the Lord as our personal saviour is where it ends.

Dying to self does not happen in an instant, it’s a process. Following Jesus isn’t a walk in the park, it’s a journey and sometimes in our journeys, we find places and spots that are so comfortable and so full of ease that it becomes almost impossible to think of moving from there. This is mostly caused by a constant and consistent presence of familiar faces, the familiarity and increased liking of current surroundings and sometimes, it is caused by finding what you’re either good at or called to do.

When it dawned on me that I was good with words (particularly written), I got a sense of belonging. I started to associate myself with the idea that I’m an author in the making. I started to become comfortable, knowing that if anyone asked what my future goals are, I wouldn’t give off the “I don’t know” stare but rather answer with confidence. While there’s nothing wrong with that, I started to not only box myself but box the power of the gift and the dream that God graciously gave me.

For a very long time, I had no identity outside writing. At church I served under media as the person that projects the sermon notes and the songs. People knew me as that girl that writes good summaries or reports. I knew myself as that girl and not an inch more than that girl. I started to box the power of God in my life.

It wasn’t too long ago when God showed me what life beyond the box that I had erected looked like. I haven’t stopped marvelling. Greater are the things that are yet to come. And this doesn’t just apply to me but to everyone reading this. We just need to step away from the boxes that we’ve put God in and move into a realm of possibility. I used to use coffee as my getaway look classy look fabulous Tumblr life which made me dream less about the things of God and more about the things of the world…now I use coffee to reflect, to realise that truly, greater are the things to come…

And sometimes I use coffee to try stay awake at the office hahaha 

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