Honest beauty

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I wish we could all be honest with ourselves when it comes to the issue of beauty. That one line has been in a word document on my laptop for about a week and a half now. This is a concept that has gotten me intensely excited and flustered all at the same time. This is probably because it is a very sensitive topic. Now, with that being said, I am going to be as sensitive as possible. Beauty. It is unfortunate how as a global society, we are becoming more and more dependent on aesthetics for the sole definition of beauty. Notice that I used the word ‘sole’ in that statement. About a month ago, I posted a status on Facebook that was somewhat of an epiphany to me. It was a sentiment that was shared amongst two ladies that resonated a well of truth in me. The status was about how translating your inner beauty is an intentional effort. One does not wake up with eyeliner already on and a beautiful red lip colour already smudged on their lips; one has to intentionally stand in front of the mirror and put this on.

The first comment I received from that status is the reason why I felt the urge to write this. “Beauty is an inward thing.” I understand the rationality behind this comment and I actually agree but I also believe that beauty needs to be translated on the outside. Now, please hear me well, I don’t mean that everyone should now get weaves and start putting on make-up. Everyone has their own way of showing forth their individual beauty. For a very long time in my young life, I lived in a rather delusional state of thinking that I will one day wake up looking like Khanyi Dlomo or Gabrielle Union. I did not necessarily admire these women, but I considered them beautiful and that’s what I wanted to say to myself when looking in the mirror; Kanyisile, you are beautiful. The reason why I couldn’t say these words meaningfully was because I didn’t understand the worth and the value and the unique extent of my inner beauty. I therefore cannot dispute that beauty is an inward thing. I also cannot ignore the fact that no matter how beautiful I am on the inside, when people see me, they see the outside.

I wish we could all be honest with ourselves when it comes to that part. You cannot or rather you should not be jealous of people that take time to make themselves look aesthetically pleasing. My truth is that I once was jealous of this group of people. I didn’t understand why their beauty was portrayed better than mine. I didn’t understand why being wonderfully made didn’t come out as wonderful for me. I didn’t understand. I had to come to terms with the fact that I didn’t understand. Having done so, the Lord helped me understand and is still helping me understand. I understand that jealousy is an enemy that one should declare war against or it will eat you alive. I also understand that it calls for repentance. I understand that I am beautiful. I understand that I am not Kanyi Dlomo nor am I Miss Union but even so, I am beautiful. I understand that there will always be someone prettier than me, slimmer than me, more intelligent, more outgoing, more articulate…but there is only one me. This doesn’t come from a place of lack in confidence, but rather a place of knowing and accepting and loving who I am.

I still struggle with the above and beyond translation of myself but I am getting there. Right after that status update, I posted another one that basically read “Beauty is….?” The responses were everything and then some. “The work of the Father.” Our Father is beautiful and every good gift comes from Him. We are made in His image and because He is beautiful, then so are we. “You.” You are your own kind of beautiful. There is no benchmark when it comes to beauty, it is a unique treasure that starts within and spills out on the outside. It is a synergy between the meditations of your heart and the workings of your mind. It is not something that lies in the eyes of the beholder but rather something that can only be seen by those who are wise enough to know its makings, therefore having the ability to identify it. You are beautiful.

You can’t be all the things.

HANNAH BRENCHER

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I want to be all the things.

If I am given a space to simply breathe and be completely honest then that’s the truth I choose to share: I want to be all the things.

I want to be a friend. I want to be a good friend. I want to be a best friend to every little human I encounter. I want to be a sister. A daughter. A girlfriend. A wife.

I want to be the person who gets called at two in the morning. I want to be the one who shows up at the door with coffee and a heart that is just ready and amped for whatever truth you want to let sit square in the middle of the kitchen table. I want to take people as they are. I want to hold people as they come.

I want to be the mysterious one— the…

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Follow up #Feature – Andisa Tundube

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About two weeks ago I did a #Feature on a lovely young lady about an initiative that she is single handedly running. Her drive and ambition is highly contagious. Today, she’s letting us in on her life as a young, Christian, single (by choice) and entrepreneurial woman. Welcome to Andisa Tundube’s #Feature interview.

 

Place: social network (we’re worlds apart)

Date: 11 November 2015

Time: 18:00

Agenda: Knowing her 🙂

 

KQ: Thank you very much for agreeing to do the interview, it’s pretty sad that we’re doing it via social media. I have about 10 questions, both personal and professional. Feel free to be as expressive as possible. Ready?

A.T: I’m ready

 

KQ: Alright. Tell me, how were you as a child?

A.T: Growing up as the only child, I was pretty happy; fresh, always out and about. Everywhere I went, I made sure that I made friends and left a mark with my drama. My grandma always said that it was easy to notice that I’m not feeling well because things wouldn’t be the same around the house.

 

KQ: *chuckle* and you are dramatic hey 🙂 So I gather you had a good childhood…

A.T: Yes, I had a good one

 

KQ: Would you say that you’ve changed with the transition from high school to varsity to working? If yes, how so?

A.T: Yes Kanyi, I’ve changed. I…well growing up, or should I say since right before high school, since grade 7, I’ve struggled with weight issues. On top of that I had a dodgy hair cut (s-curl), I had acne and I was terrified about growing up. From that I had to find myself and discover who I really am. That went on from grade 7 ‘til matric but in grade 11, I started getting a clear picture as to who I am. That’s when I told myself that I have to start looking after myself, considering my flaws but changing what I could. That’s when I grew my hair, went on acne treatment, joined taebo classes that I’d go to when I go home during the holidays, lost weight…in that whole process, I got swine flu.

That happened when I was in matric. I then lost a lot of weight due to the illness. I was hospitalised for three months I think, right before my exams. Then when I got to varsity, things were totally different. I had to grow up a bit and be independent because I wanted to change my image (I was quite boyish). I then got myself a part-time job and started getting weaves, doing my nails and just being proper. I’ve come a long way but I’m enjoying the journey.

 

KQ: Wow, that’s pretty hectic and inspiring…and then came A Clear Perspective. How did the initiative come about?

A.T: The past two years for me were a mission in terms of school and just growing up. I’ve had to adapt to so many changes and I guess God was trying to get me to calm down because having calmed down, everything started making sense. Also, on a general day to day, I use public transport and I’ve been exposed to people who are just chilling doing nothing and I saw the need to communicate the way girls talk, how they dress themselves, how they portray themselves as human beings and brands ‘cause I believe that in our own right, we are individual brands. I then saw the need to uplift and acknowledge how far one has come, personal issues they’ve faced and a way forward from those issues. That’s where ACP comes in.

Having A Clear Perspective…meaning you have to think logically and rationally about things. Because I live close to quite a few schools, I also saw that a lot of school kids need guidance with their future. You’d find that matric students don’t have a clue about what they’re going to do after matric and having been where they are, I thought let me take this opportunity and introduce this clear perspective movement. It’s basically a lifestyle thing; how you talk, how you dress yourself, how you walk, how you portray yourself, how you do things and how you tackle things. So I would say that’s where it surfaced…I hope I’m making sense. Oh and another thing Kanyi was to drill in self-worth to girls and their parents as well ‘cause they need to learn such things at an early age hence the parents. That’s why I’ve taken this to schools. I think girls shouldn’t be shocked when random boys tell them they’re beautiful. That’s a truth that they should grow up knowing.

 

KQ: Lovely…so how did you get the name?

A.T: It’s really about how you think of yourself and about how you see things considering that your perspective will drive you to your destiny or purpose.

 

KQ: So basically changing the way you think of yourself to become a better you?

A.T: Well said, yes

 

KQ: Why a non-profit though?

A.T: It’s just me giving back to the community seeing that I saw a need for this movement and the need to make a difference in people’s lives. This issue that needs to be changed is really minimal; it’s just a matter of changing the way one thinks and does things.

 

KQ: So do you have partners or are you a one woman show?

A.T: For now, I’m a one woman show

 

KQ: Neat 🙂 have you always been entrepreneurial or did it just come with ACP?

A.T: It’s always been in me Kanyi. I’ve always known that I’m a starter of great things and this organisation is a starter 🙂

 

KQ: Halala! Haha…girl child, boy child or both?

A.T: Girl child, I’m all about girl/woman empowerment

 

KQ: Woman empowerment or feminism?

A.T: Definitely woman empowerment

 

KQ: Apart from ACP, what other ventures are you busy with.

A.T: I love clothes, love dressing people up and I love shopping. I’d say I’m an upcoming image consultant as I’m going into designing modest church dresses linking well with the ACP vision that is “Taking good care of yourself and your appearance.” It’s going to be a brand called clear perspective for now and the range mainly being dresses. In a few years to come, I’ll be sponsoring my girls from disadvantaged schools with a full dress up session (dress, shoes and make-up) for their matric dances but that’s a long term goal.

 

KQ: Lastly, plans for 2015?

A.T: You’re getting me very excited hey…my plan for 2015 is to just watch the Lord show off His works and wonders through ACP, for me to grow in business with a clear perspective, praying for consistency, wisdom and zeal to learn each day from each and every person I meet.

Also, I’m looking into officially launching the organisation on the 13th of February 2015 in the form of a high tea event; dresses, heels, fascinators and hand gloves. More elaborate information about ACP will be discussed that day. We will also have a guest speaker to address the ladies present on the day.

Time: 15:00 – 18:00
Venue: still to be confirmed, visit the Facebook page for updates
Registration: R30 for young ladies and R50 for older ladies.

 

KQ: Thank you so much hey, next time we’ll do this over a cup of coffee *yum*

A.T: We would take the whole day! Thank you Kanyi for your time

 

She truly is remarkable. Visit A Clear Perspective on Facebook and join the movement. Be blessed.

#Fitness – 2015 health over fitness

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So today marks day 2 of my 2015 jogging hustle. The first day (yesterday) was incredibly difficult. My alarm rang at 05:15 and after switching it off, I told myself that instead of starting on Monday, I’d just start on Tuesday. Unfortunately or fortunately (depending on your philosophical standing) for me, I told my entire family that I’d start jogging Monday morning. On queue, my mother came in and woke me up. At that moment, a tiny voice said to me, “There is no difference between the sleep you’re getting now and the sleep you’ll get when you get back from your morning jog.” So I got up, got dressed, tied my hair, brushed my teeth, washed my face and left. Today was a little easier, just a little. I hate how waking up at about 5a.m feels like so much punishment. It’s pure torture. Anyway it’s torture that has a rather good outcome. On both accounts, jogging at least 3-4km’s and power walking up two uphill roads, taught me the following lessons:

  1. Long, thick braids aren’t good for business. They weigh a ton and jogging with a ton on your head is not the greatest thing ever. They’re definitely coming off.
  2. Water is vital. It may not always be appealing but it’s vital nonetheless.
  3. Run your own race at your own pace. I jog with a friend and being the younger one who hits the gym more often than not, I thought I would surely outrun her. There were times when I was way ahead and there were times when she would be way ahead. Trying to catch up to people causes asthma attacks and frankly it’s tedious and extremely tiring.
  4. Talking to yourself, also known as thinking out loud, is therapeutic.
  5. A good playlist is the difference between a Garden of Eden run and a world war run.

A good and beneficial lifestyle is 80% diet and 20% exercise. Make your diet your lifestyle and not something that will lapse in three months. Health over fitness.

 

The great commission

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As the human race, we are born with an almost immediate realisation that there is more to our lives than what meets the eye. Some things are fairly easy to recognise, for example, being a female, one immediately recognises themselves as a mother or wife. But there is a greater purpose to our existence that brings more meaning to our lives once established. Now, it is impossible to be of the world and find meaning for your life; you can find what you love doing or being but it won’t be of any meaning until you add God into that mix. The reason for your existence is known by the one that created you, not the ones that conceived you. God, as the author of our lives, is the only one that can bring true meaning into your life. Now, back to purpose…

Purpose – the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.

Everyone has a purpose; however finding it can prove to be very difficult. As one gets older, living without the knowledge of your life’s purpose generates an incredible amount of frustration. Let me hasten to say that there may be a difference between your plan and your purpose. Everyone needs to have a plan; you finish high school and hopefully study further and thereafter find a job and begin to build your career. My plan was that by now I’d be working and living alone in a beautiful flat somewhere near the beach. I am currently unemployed (or, as my friend would say, on extended leave) and I live with my parents in my home town which is, by the way, land locked. That is my reality but that is not my Truth. My Truth is that I have many plans for my life and having delighted myself in the Lord, He is Faithful enough to grant me the desires of my heart; that is bringing my plans to pass. That is my Truth.

My definition of “purpose” is the one thing you could give up everything for and remain content and satisfied and happy and joyful. It is that thing that when your toes get crushed while doing it, you don’t grow weary and immediately turn away from it but rather continue doing it for it is your life’s meaning. I am so awe struck and so excited as I am writing this for the Lord has revealed something about purpose to me. I hope and pray that it truly comes out as powerful as I am getting it.

About a month ago I watched an incredible sermon by Joyce Meyer. She said something that I will forever carry in my heart. She said, and I’m paraphrasing this, that it has been a long time since the Lord has given her a word about her life; rather she is always receiving a word for the church and the ministry at large. When people ask her how she keeps afloat without a personal word she answers and says, “I do the last thing that God told me to do until He gives me a new word.” So I asked myself, “What is the last thing that the Lord asked me to do?” This happened about a month ago and since then, I have been getting the same answer; Go ye therefore and make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20). This answer has been getting louder and clearer as the days progressed. The great commission.

Matthew 28:19-20 (MSG)

Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of age.

 

As born again Christians, our purpose or the reason for our existence is encapsulated in the great commission. We were made to make disciples. Now hear this, it says disciples and not converts. That is why you will hear people saying that you can go through something for 30 years just so you can help someone in 30 minutes. Making disciples is a process. Now this is what got me on my knees; our purpose is meant to take us to our promised land right, so knowing that you were made to make disciples, you need to figure out what your mode of transport is going to be. That is, not everyone is going to be a pastor. Again let me hasten to say, you don’t have to be a pastor to make disciples, you just have to be a disciple yourself. So what do I mean when I say mode transport?

How are you, personally, going to make disciples? Some are apostles, some are evangelists and some are prophets. Some are teachers and some are pastors. What are you? The greatest challenge in trying to figure out what my “name” is, was in misunderstanding my transports working hours. What do I mean? Not being in full time ministry does not make you any less of a disciple maker. Being the CEO of a company does not make you any less of a disciple maker. Let me break this down. There is a man at our church, married with kids, and he is incredibly successful in business and in wealth. He is not in full time ministry but he serves the church as a Kingdom financer. He, along with many others, is a great help in making sure that, with regards to anything financial, the work of the Kingdom of God continues. Above and beyond that, he also evangelises. That is his mode of transport. Someone else’s mode of transport may be worship; they were born to make disciples through worship. You were born to make disciples, the question is, how?

The beauty that is in this commission is the promise of the Lords presence as we continue to not only tell people about the Lord but also train them in this way of life. Until I know for sure what my mode of transport is, I will continue to write as a means of letting people know about the Love that is God. Don’t sit and do absolutely nothing all in the name of waiting for God to commission you. Let Him find you in the Kingdoms field doing His work, whatever that may be. Be about God’s business. Be blessed.

I am a Christian

 

When I say that “I am a Christian,” I am not shouting that “I am clean living.” I’m whispering “I was lost, but now I’m found and forgiven.

” When I say “I am a Christian,” I don’t speak of this with pride. I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say “I am a Christian,” I’m not trying to be strong. I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say “I am a Christian,” I’m not bragging of success. I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say “I am a Christian,” I’m not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say “I am a Christian,” I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say “I am a Christian,” I’m not holier than thou. I’m just a simple sinner who received God’s good grace, somehow!

 

 

 

#Feature – A clear perspective

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The two previous posts have links to a Facebook page called A clear perspective. A clear perspective is a non-profit organization that was started by a friend of mine, Andisa Tundube. The NPO is mainly aimed at grooming, motivating and acknowledging young girls that are pressing on towards their purpose in life. Yes, I’ve got incredibly smart and incredibly entrepreneurial friends 🙂 Andisa is a vibrant young lady from Port Elizabeth. She matriculated at Victoria Girls High in Grahamstown and went on to further her education at Varsity College in P.E doing Public Relations. She portrays great leadership skills and has a peculiar skill of reaching people at their own levels. She is known by many as an enthusiastic, fun and loving friend, mentor, confidant and daughter. She is a true reflection of ambition linked with a high level of work ethic. For more information about the NPO, visit the Facebook page by clicking on this link.

 

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This caught my eye while I was busy browsing my morning away on Facebook. Being just you and nothing more or nothing less has become such a rare, and when achieved, difficult thing. Someone once said that there will always be someone else who is a tad bit smarter than you, prettier than you, more infectious than you; whatever it may be, there is always going to be someone “better” than you. That, however, does not mean that you aren’t good enough. Everyone is good enough, but it just means that in our vastly different states, one has to make it a point to be themselves at all times. Trying to be someone else while that someone is doing an incredible job of being themselves is such a waste of time and energy. If Einstein had admired the then ruling president or royal figure to a point of wanting to be like them, science would have had such a loss. That’s exactly what the world faces when you try to be like the one next to you. You can never be too much of a nerd or a coconut or “weirdo”. Be you, do you, like you, love you. #AClearPerspective #BeYou #BeBeautiful

The fear of not becoming

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What would you do if you knew you would not fail?

Dreams, goals, aspirations, desires; the fuel behind every human can be summed up in these. Every child, no matter how lavish or how distraught their upbringing was, every child has a dream. When I was in primary school I wanted to be a DJ and/or an entertainment journalist. I then changed that dream due to popular culture at the time and wanted to be a charted accountant. However that didn’t last long. My greatest passion and utmost skill and ability has always been in the English language. It fascinates me. It’s tricky and to a certain extent difficult which makes me love it all the more. Anyway that’s a story for another day.

For a greater part of my life, I’ve always been scared of falling short of what I want to become. I know what I want and I know how to get want I want but I’m scared of the disappointments and failures that I might come across while trying to get to where I want to be. But the thing is, every success story has a hand full of failure stories. Truth of the matter is that failure, though it may look like a stumbling block, is an opportunity to reassess and start over with a Clear Perspective. I wish I could somehow recondition myself in one moment and get rid of this unbecoming fear but it’s a process, a process that I’m finally letting myself go through. I’m 22 years old, there’s no going back. An amazingly wise woman that I have been privileged enough to know personally, Mrs Hermanas, once said that who you are (in terms of character) and what talents you have are a gift from God to you and what you become is your gift to God. I, therefore, owe it to God to become an incredibly awesome me and the same goes for you. With that said, I’m starting my year off on a good note, a hopeful and optimistic note. I wish you all the best for the year 2015 🙂